I Am Losing My Mind

I am losing my mind. It's beginning to look sad. I am normally a very organized person. I may act rashly every now and then, but for the most part no one would call me out of control. In some areas. But in the last three days, I have accomplished so many tasks and the second I finish them, I say to myself "NOOOOOOOOO. WHHHYYYYY?" I realize that I have just done something stupid, and have to make it right. For instance, I live in South Dakota where it is quite rural. We live on a farm and I was taking some junk out of a shed. I drove the tractor out to the hill where we put some junk, came back, only to find out that I had only dumped part of my load. Fail. Last night, as I was going to feed one of my cows, I saw a fire in the same shed I had taken the junk out of. It was very small, but I thought "well my, my I am going to save the barn, just like on a movie." I kicked dirt on it, then poured water on it. The second I had finished pouring water on it, I looked and saw matches and oil sitting approximately 6 inches away from me. Hence, the fire was meant to be. Once again, epic failure. Sure enough, when I got to the house, Dad explained why there was a little fire in the shed (it was completely safe and sort of needed to be there). More occurrences have happened, but I do not feel the need to bore you with them. However, I am still saying to myself, "NOOOOOOOO. WHHHYYYYYY?" But oh well, I'm glad that God does not depend on me to always do everything perfectly, or even right........cause I would be in a pretty bad situation right now. Instead, I am sure He found a little humor in me thinking that I was the hero and then me finding out that I was actually the bad guy who drowned out any chance of relighting the fire.